5 Stop the Presses! Clear your schedule. Cancel that pedicure, call the babysitter, order a pizza, and pop open a bottle of wine. You're going to be busy for some time playing this extremely exciting and highly addictive game!
4 Front page material. You're not going to want to miss this sensational game! It may not be perfect, but it's as close to perfect as they come. Sit back and get ready for a great gaming experience!
3 Weekend feature. A great game for a relaxing afternoon on the couch. It's not the best game in the world, but it certainly is still worth a few fun hours of your time.
2 Classified section. Does anyone want an old beat up couch from college? Not really. Maybe there was a chance for this game at one time, but somewhere along the way, someone got sick on it and it's time for it to be trashed.
1 Obituaries. This game should never have been born, but someone decided to slap some bolts on it and go all Frankenstein monster on it.