Ummm… at first all I can say is that this game is extremely weird and yet strangely fascinating. A little disturbing and yet very addicting at the same time. Premise is as follows… you are Mr. Jones… you retired with your dog Cranky… but you soon get bored and realize you don’t want to spend the remainder of your days by yourself. But good news… your long lost girlfriend is in need of a sugar daddy and wants you to come live with her in a tropical paradise… but she has some demands first.
Yeah… that’s right… demands. First you need to buy stuff… such as expensive sunglasses and beachwear. Oh and she also wants some jewelry and flashy luggage… let’s see… anything else? Oh yeah… just one other little thing… she wants $1 million in spending cash. That’s all… so now Mr. Jones needs to figure out a way to make some money and fast cause he ain’t getting any younger… if you know what I mean. So naturally, he opens his own graveyard as the answer to his money problems. I mean, that’s the obvious choice right? Who doesn’t love graveyards? LOL.
Uggg that reminds me of the time my friends and I played with the Ouija board one night and then decided to go look for ghosts in the local graveyard. Hey don’t judge me; I live in a ridiculously small town with not much to do but trick city people into going cow tipping… I wound up freaking out, running for my life, and then tripping over a headstone. My knee fell on some broken glass and I wound up with a nice scar to remind me that ghosts are the least of my problems. My natural grace has a way of getting me in serious trouble.
Anyhow, back to the game… so you begin by taking on cheap funerals, but you soon work your way up to the big boys and begin making thousands of dollars per each corpse you bury. You have to dig the grave, place the tomb stone, decorate with flowers and fountains and such, make a pathway, and then bury the poor sucker. All the time you’re breaking your back, your girlfriend keeps calling and checking up on you to see what you’ve bought her lately. She threatens that she can’t wait forever, even though you are her number one choice, but if you don’t deliver the goods soon, she’ll have to find another sugar daddy’s money to spend.
Overall… have to say this game cracked me up… but I tend to have a sick sense of humor as some of you might know… honestly… you have to try this game. I’ve never played anything like it in my life!
Thinking about changing my major if I can really make this kind of money in the funeral business… well maybe not… speaking of school, I’m back… my summer is officially over and it’s back to classes. But don’t cry, I decided I have time for games in between writing papers and studying… so that means you’re all stuck with me for a bit longer.
